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Inside The Unsealed JFK Assassination Files

Overnight, Donald Trump released the unredacted JFK Assassination Files. It’s 63 thousand pages of blurry, disorganised PDF files that, so far, are kind of, really, allegedly very boring.

The documents revealed new details about the alleged shooter, Lee Harvey Oswald. Apparently, two months before pulling the trigger, he made a mysterious trip to Mexico.

A US Army Intelligence Officer called Gary Underhill, who is in no way related to Rodney Dangerfield, reportedly told his mates a drug-dealing CIA clique helped knock off JFK. Oh, and apparently, the US Embassy in Canberra got some anonymous calls before and after JFK ‘reportedly’ popped his clogs, predicting the assassination.

But the Head of ASIO apparently begged the yanks to kinda, maybe, sort of not mention it to anyone. Finally, one of the documents claims a KGB official didn’t really rate Lee Harvey Oswald’s marksmanship, saying that when he tried target firing in the USSR, he was “a poor shot”.