Making it to the merge is often a bucket list item for contestants on Australian Survivor but for Scott Butler, it was the moment that the game began to affect his mental health, and forced him to make a difficult decision at the next Tribal Council.

Speaking to 10 Play, Scott said he was feeling quite comfortable heading into merge, with strong relationships and an ally in Kirby, but moving back to Rebels Beach and having a full tribe of 14 players had been confronting.

“I’m someone who is quite anxious and awkward, it takes me a little while to feel comfortable in a space and with people,” Scott explained. “I was really, really trying out there to force myself to make these connections… or skip forward a few weeks and make these connections with people.

“All of a sudden you’re yanked out of that and back to someone else’s home and they’ve got a very different set-up, there is a different set of rules. I think that really threw me for a loop,” he continued. “Having to go into an insane social situation, it was bigger than when we first started the game… suddenly it was a beach full of people and I think that really sent me spiraling.”

Scott added that throughout the game he had already experienced moments where his mental health “wasn’t great”. “Luckily I had people like Kirby and Garrick - Garrick was awesome for that, he’d pull me aside and be like, ‘Hey man let’s talk through it. You’re absolutely fine.’ Kirby did the same.

“This felt a bit different and I could sort of see where the game was going. I could see the claws coming out,” he added.

During their first night as a merged tribe, Scott said Kitty and Eden were two of the people who were immediately warm and kind to him. The next day, when Kitty became a target of a blindside, the emotions began to overwhelm Scott.

“I can just remember feeling so clear to me that it was not the right place for me to be in that time. I just got over it a couple of times and this felt like the third knock and I was just like oh god… this feels much heavier,” he recalled.

“When the game got more intense and heated up, I started realising what the priorities were and you just never know when something like that is going to hit you. So waking up and feeling that way, or getting back to the beach after the challenge, I think I was just realising all of that. Luckily I had people like Kirby around who could see that in me and like, this feels different.”

“When I felt my mental health going the way it was, and I know how that happens on the outside and sometimes if you don’t have the tools to help yourself, it’s not going anywhere good. It’s not just going to suddenly go away if you wake up one day. I could see that getting worse and it just was not the right place for me to be.

“Mental health trumps a game any day.”

While on the beach, a massive windstorm blew through the camp, and looking around Scott saw his tribe mates scrambling and strategising while he clung to the shelter, holding onto their tarp.

“I think I just started to well up a little bit and I was like, oh god what’s going on? Kirby took me aside and we had a chat and that was it. I knew then, I thought could I get through this? Could I get over this? I started to see what was still to come.”

At that point, Scott made the decision to have his torch snuffed at the following Tribal Council. Knowing that fans could be divided by his decision, watching the season as it aired has been a roller coaster.

“I feel like I’ve been anxious one minute, and then I’ve been really good and just at peace with everything,” he explained.

“I’m just hoping people see what people are going through out there, and people are kind,” Scott said.

“I think standing up and saying, ’It’s okay and sometimes there are things that are more important than a dream’ is a good message, and something I wish I had growing up and had seen on Survivor, I think that would have been huge for me. A game I love, if that can have a moment like this, that’s pretty special to me.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help now, call triple zero (000). You can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels continues Sunday - Tuesday at 7.30 on 10 and 10 Play