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Things Are Heating Up In South Australian Politics

The opposition leader made a splash and got a lot of locals thirsty

Perhaps one of the worst trends we’ve seen developing in politics over the last couple of years has been the thirstiness of Australians for their leaders.

Victoria’s Chief Health Officer Brett Sutton released a smouldering calendar that had many housewives around Melbourne calling him the state’s Chief Hottie Officer and WA premier Mark McGowan has been labelled ‘Daddy’ by many of his local constituents who clearly have some sort of unresolved childhood trauma and/or a damaged relationship with their fathers.

So, enter 41-year-old SA opposition leader Peter Malinauskas who posted a photo of himself at the Adelaide Aquatic Centre over the weekend where he announced Labor’s plan to redevelop the site if elected in March, and presumably to also announce his new policy against carbohydrates.

The photos not only resonated with the desperate housewives of Adelaide, but also had SA premier Steven Marshall all hot and bothered too when asked about the photos on ABC Radio Adelaide. “Look it’s great when people look after themselves and stay healthy,” Marshall acknowledged. “But, he’s clearly got a bit more time on his hands than I have… There’s no Putin-style campaigning from me I can guarantee, I’m just focused on the key issues of South Australia.”

Considering Vladimir Putin has won every fair and totally legitimate election that he’s contested since 2000, perhaps Steven Marshall might be best advised to adopt some ‘Putin-style campaigning’ himself. Personally, we’d love to see Steven Marshall release a photoshoot of him bathing shirtless in a lake, riding a horse and walking alongside a bear. If it’s worked so well for the definitely democratically elected Russian leader, why couldn’t it work for Steven Marshall too?

And, let’s be honest, it’s even worked here in Australia. Tony Abbott pretty much brought the budgee-smugglers back on the map when he routinely popped them on as he emerged from the ocean, usually after having completed a triathlon or having personally swum out into the Indian ocean to tow back a boat into Indonesian waters.

The point is, the idea that ‘sex sells’ is not a new concept to politics, so don’t be surprised if Marshall and Malinauskas both release OnlyFans pages in the lead up to this very hotly contested election.