Whenever a lockdown happens public figures often remind people to remain calm and not panic buy toilet paper. In NSW it seems they should have been more specific. They said don’t panic buy toilet paper, but they did not specifically say don’t steal it. And that’s really a failure of messaging.
In the suburb of Artarmon, in Sydney’s lower north shore, a house was robbed of some of its most valuable possessions. The thieves broke in and left behind jewellery, electronics and cash but got away with a snowboard and toilet paper. For those wondering why, just ask yourself: would you wipe your butt with a 55 inch television?
The median house price in the area is $2,575,000 and while the police did not release the brand of toilet paper that was stolen we can only imagine the quality of TP used in a suburb like that. 3-ply? 4-ply? You’d leave behind the Heart of the Ocean necklace if you could get yourself on some 4-ply toilet paper. Makes you want to spend time in the bathroom to treat yourself to all those plys.
In a statement from police they said that “The offenders accessed a storage cage at the property and managed to make off with a snowboard as well as a large box of toilet paper belonging to the residents.” Clearly, the thieves wanted to be ready for some snow runs and whatever other runs might come their way.
The NSW North Shore Police were on the case, and to show how serious they were taking the matter they made a meme about the situation. A photo of toilet paper, along with a account of the crime, and the words “Tell me Sydney is in lockdown, without telling me Sydney is in lockdown.”
The police haven’t released a description of who they’re looking for but the public should stay on the lookout for anybody drinking a lot of coffee and talking about doing sweet one eighties on the slopes. If anybody has any information about the robbery or any tips that could assist the police in upping their meme game please contact the North Shore Police Department.