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Scientists Have Discovered A ‘Pregnancy’ Test For Cheese

It’s been a big year for scientific advancements.

We’ve been able to develop multiple vaccines in record time to combat a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic, Apple released a product with a battery-life of more than 45 minutes, and now -- most impressively -- scientists have worked out a way to better detect whether cheese is developing and ripening as needed.

The new test, which scientists are likening to a ‘pregnancy’ test, allows cheesemakers to test the quality of their cheese earlier and more precisely, which is really helpful because sometimes a batch of cheese can ripen for months before a problem is discovered in it. Which is kind of like what happens with kids – it can often take years to discover that a kid is a wanker, often it doesn’t become apparent until they hit 21.

Twins! Image: Getty.

Basically, the test checks for the concentration of specific biomarkers in the cheese that can let the cheesemaker know if everything is on track or if something has gone awry. It’s a huge development because the last thing you want is to be making cheddar cheese and then the next thing you know it comes out as blue cheese. Actually, the last thing you want is to be making blue cheese at all.

It’s been a big year for scientific advancements. the lead researcher in the study, told the Daily Mail: “Once we know the chemical profile of a successful cheese, we can compare it to new batches as soon as 30 days into the ageing process. It's like a pregnancy screening test for cheese - we analyse the biological data early in the development to see if there are any red flags. This could be done alongside traditional analyses like tasting to highlight future potential problems.”

C-Section. Image: Getty.

It’s a pretty exciting development for cheese people and, to be honest, it sounds like something that a scientist came up with after eating too much cheese and falling asleep. But, basically, it’s a test that can help predict whether the cheese is going to age properly, and it’s a lot more accurate than the traditional taste test (and is probably also a lot more COVID-safe than the traditional taste test).

So what does this mean for consumers? Well, hopefully lower cheese prices if it means that the cheese making process has less waste and, thus, costs less.

Overall, it’s grate news for everyone.

(I’m sorry, I tried really hard not to make a pun in this little article and I got to the very last line and couldn’t help myself. I’m so sorry, I can’t even camembert to look myself in the mirror. Oh God. I’ve done it again. So cheesy. Please help. Please.)