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Nobody Likes a Hog: The Rules Of Working From A Cafè Have Been Released

After two years of WFH (working from home) in all kinds of no pants disarray, Debretts, a 253-year-old British Institution, which advises on all things etiquette, has seen the need for a guide on WFC (working from a cafe).

After two years of WFH (working from home) in all kinds of no pants disarray, Debretts, a 253-year-old British Institution, which advises on all things etiquette, has seen the need for a guide on WFC (working from a cafe).

Here's the rundown.

While we have all been preoccupied with running our own small businesses importing fedoras for cats, it seems we have forgotten that cafes are also businesses that need to make a profit, with the number one rule of the guide being don't be a "table hogger". 

As someone who has dined at a cafe, I think the same should be said when sharing food. We've all done it; you insist you'll have 'just one bite' and then continue to demolish most of the sandwich. Don't be a "food hogger".

Always, 'ask the manager politely if it's alright to work and use the café's power outlets and WiFi.' Just don't download the Lord of the Rings trilogy or run an extension cord to charge your new e-scooter out the front. 

Another rule is to 'never look askance at your near neighbours because their animated conversation or crying baby is playing havoc with your concentration. That is your problem, not theirs.' Channel your frustration into an email to Debrett instead, suggesting a guide to 'Managing Toddlers in Cafes', which includes no lego villages in the middle of the cafe floor or write a passive-aggressive note on a napkin and give it to them when you leave.

You should also avoid work conference calls in a cafe, as you risk looking "unprofessional" to your colleague, and I would argue like a jerk to fellow patrons and cafe staff. Sure, you have a shipment of 3000 cat fedoras stuck at the docks but leave the rest of us out of it. 

Basically, unless it's a juicy breakup story, I don't want to hear it.

And lastly, some etiquette that didn't make the list; from me to you, be sure to tip if you are there for over an hour, and remember to wear pants when leaving the house.

Bon appetite and happy working.