The Prince Hotel in St Kilda, Melbourne, is debuting a bizarre new offer. Until May 31, you can swipe anything you like out of a special hotel suite… As long as you pay for the room, which is $999 a night.

You can steal anything you want… as long as you pay for it. Are you reading the same thing I’m reading? Can you smell burned toast too?

It’s nearly a grand for this hotel room kleptomania buffet. Seriously? How much ARE those bibles in the bedside tables? I know the Cokes in the mini-bar are expensive, but I find it hard to believe you can’t get a couple of them for under a hundred bucks.

This is the perfect deal for those of us who have looked around their own homes, and thought, “I wish this joint had more of a ‘lonely businessman’ vibe.”

Call me crazy, but I thought we already had the concept of entering a private business, paying for items and then going home with them? I believe they’re called… “shops”?

Anyway, if none of this has swayed you, and you’re still keen on a couple of bottles of conditioner, an iron and an argument about if you’re allowed to rip a ceiling fan out, room bookings can be made online at https://theprince.com.au