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Man Sues After Lip Smacking Leaves Him With Cold Sore

 If you’re going to pash this man you better hope you’re healthy or he’s going to ask you to pay up

A British  man dedicated to others fitness has made an ironic mistake – he kissed a woman “un-fit” to do so…according to him anyway.

45-year-old personal trainer, Martin Conway, says he was left “traumatised” after contracting a cold sore from a woman he kissed on a date, according to The Sun.

Source: Linkedin

Conway is now suing the woman known as ‘Ms Lovelace’ for $A248,600 on the grounds that she failed to tell him she had the herpes simplex virus (HSV) when she had ‘a moral, ethical and legal duty’ to advise him before they took the risky peck.

Perhaps Ms Lovelace could counter sue on the grounds that Conway ‘had a moral, ethical and legal duty’ to inform her he was the kind of guy to sue over something so ridiculous before they went on a date.

The traumatised PT met his date on Meetup.com, he states that he is now stuck with a “virus for life”. A few days after their date is when it all went south for Mr Conway. He developed flu-like symptoms and mouth ulcers.

“I was upset, angry and very confused,” Mr Conway told The Sun, discussing the moment he discovered he had contracted “the virus”.

At this point in the story many of us are very confused how he managed to snag a date in the first place. While we are here, let’s all take a moment to acknowledge that at this current time in history, catching a cold sore virus is a preferred virus to catch.

I wanted justice and it was then I decided I wanted to take legal action against the respondent for the illness she brought upon me

If every singly person who contracted a cold sore sued we’d have a lot of 6 year old primary school court cases on our sticky little hands.

eric cartman kyle GIF by South Park

According to a quick online search Cold Sore Cream is selling at the competitive price of $14.99, and like all creams they last in the drawer for at least 50 years – so why is Conway suing for so much?

Well according to him, his new lifelong ailment has stopped him from pursuing his dream of being a lawyer and left him too scared to leave his home. It’s terribly inconvenient that right as he was going to quit PT and become a rich successful lawyer he developed the chance of having a red mark on his lip every few years.

GIF by The Maury Show

You’d think he’d play the sympathy card with the jury but alas, maybe even he knows deep down they’d never buy into empathy for an invisible illness a couple toddlers they know also carry.

According to The Sun, Conway claims he can no longer go cycling, as he worries that the heat and stress will cause a flare-up.

In total, he is claiming $A248,600 in compensation from Ms Lovelace, most of which he claims is to cover fortnightly therapy sessions he requires until the age of 79 as well as lost earnings.

Lets not go too hard on Conway for that one; he definitely needs therapy, however that’s unrelated to the cold sore.

Lawyers for his date state that she is fighting back and have called Conway’s actions an “abuse of the process of the court”.

The case is set to be heard later this year, when Conway will have to brave up and leave his house, cold sore or not.