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Kissing In Clubs Is Now Cancelled

A new poll shows that people are no longer willing to snog strangers in this post-COVID world, along with many other once regular occurrences.

Ever head out on the town with the sole purpose of getting a midnight kiss in a dark corner of a club? Ever done this and had absolutely zero success, instead you just look a little unhinged hanging in the dark corner of the club? You’ve wondered – is it me? Should I not have worn my light up shoes? But they look so great on D-floor!

Well, finally you have something else to blame for your lack of lip touching... COVID!

A survey of 2000 British adults conducted by OnePoll asked if they would do anything differently post-pandemic. Incredibly ‘kissing strangers’ only came in fourth on the list – meaning there are some things people are less willing to do than swap saliva with possible quarantine escapees.

kiss band GIF

Number 1 on the list was ‘use someone else’s lip balm’. Ok, this makes sense. Dry lips is a small compromise, plus you’re not kissing anyway.

Number 2 and 3 were ‘sneak a bite of someone else’s sandwich’ and ‘use store make-up samples’.

These were honestly two of my personal favourite things to do pre-pandemic and it’s sad to say I agree with the results. What was once a way to get free food and free beauty, now feels like too big a risk.

Maybe I will have to resort to sneaking the entire untouched sandwich off my friend’s plate with a quick distraction, “Hey look over there – someone’s handing out vacuumed sealed make-up samples!”

sneaking food lol GIF by America's Funniest Home Videos

The researchers found that one fifth of adults have no intention of using office cutlery in the future. I’d like to know which offices they are working in that the cutlery hadn’t already been stolen and hoarded in personal office drawers.

There are some predictable and some less predictable ones on this list.

Number 9 is to be expected – ‘share a pack of crisps in a pub’. Sweat is off-putting these days, and crisps in an open bag are some of the sweatiest food you can find.

Number 11 – ‘get someone to check if your breath smells’.

The fact this came in as high as number 11 explains why this virus travels so quickly in the first place. This shouldn’t have been happening before COVID. If in doubt, have a mint! Don’t make your co-workers breathe in your breath.

You can check out the full list of post-pandemic no-no’s below.

1. Use someone else’s lip balm

2. Sneak a bite of someone else’s sandwich

3. Use store make-up samples

4. Snog a stranger on a night out

5. Borrow a swimming costume from someone else

6. Use someone else’s make up

7. Stand close to people at the bar or in a queue

8. Leave the house without hand sanitiser

9. Share a pack of crisps in a pub

10. Use someone else's deodorant

11. Get someone to check if your breath smells

12. Go to a buffet-style restaurant

13. Hold the handrail on an escalator

14. Hold onto public transport e.g. the bus/tube handles/pole

15. Shake someone's hand

16. Borrow gloves from someone else

17. Drink from mugs/glasses at work

18. Chat in close proximity to someone in a club

19. Sit next to someone on public transport

20. Use office cutlery

List attributed to The Sun.

Main Image: Flrickr