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Boris Johnson Wants Everyone To Return To The Office Because Cheese And Coffee Is Too Distracting

Once again, UK PM Boris Johnson has really put himself out there in terms of relating to his fellow people with less than favourable results.

This time he’s focused in on restoring pre-pandemic foot traffic numbers in town and city centres which are feeling the pinch. And look, that part is understandable. The pandemic’s been a real muck-up of a time for everyone.

But how does Johnson want to inspire everyone to get back into the office and pretend nothing ever happened and the nature of work hasn’t fundamentally changed, potentially for the better for a swath of workers? By accusing of everyone who’s working from home of slacking off.

And his proof? By recounting a tale of his own experience of working from home, where he slacked off.

“My experience of working from home is you spend an awful lot of time making another cup of coffee and then, you know, getting up, walking very slowly to the fridge, hacking off a small piece of cheese, then walking very slowly back to your laptop and then forgetting what it was you’re doing.”

Which is a weirdly enlightening insight into how he operates running a country.

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail, he added: “We need to get back into the habit of getting into the office. There will be lots of people who disagree with me, but I believe people are more productive, more energetic, more full of ideas, when they are surrounded by other people.”

Boris has clearly never worked in an open-plan office before.

Safe to say, it hasn’t gone down well on Twitter.

Personally, I’d focus in on the soaring cost of living, transport, and lack of complete bike routes allowing people to actively travel during a pandemic without being packed onto a tube. But hey, what would I know! I’m currently working from home and I just cannot get my head away from that block of Colby.

I’m going to go grab my 20th cup of coffee and make my heart explode before I do any more work.