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A Sydney Woman Needs Help With A Spider

If you don’t have arachnophobia, this might be the job for you.

As we all know, spiders are gross and scary. They’ve got too many legs, some of them are deadly and if you walk through a spider’s web you look like you’re trying to fight away a ghost as you rip it off your face.

But, strangely, not everyone wants every spider to die. Weird, right? In fact, one woman in Sydney has found herself in quite a web about all this.

Taking to Facebook (which is where we should all go when looking for advice and help), the woman who resides in Summer Hill posted in her local community group:

“Hi everyone, just wondering if you know anyone who can/doesn't mind catching spiders in people's houses to relocate as opposed to killing them? I’m terrified of them and don’t want to resort to killing them as I previously have.”

It is nice of her to not want to resort to killing spiders.

But, let’s not forget that spiders are murderous creatures out to destroy us all. And let’s also not forget that according to an unverified urban myth, humans eat approximately eight spiders over the course of our lifetimes when we are asleep.

Of course, there is no evidence for this claim and it is impossible to prove (or disprove for that matter) but, assuming it is true, this writer’s policy is to kill every spider before they crawl into our moths as we sleep.

The woman in Sydney’s inner west went on to posit to her fellow community members: “Is there a service that does this?

Or any teens who'd like to get a bit of pocket money to do this?”

It’s a fantastic question. Presumably, someone on Airtasker would be able to do this for her. In fact, that company should have a specific section for professionals who deal with capturing spiders.

There could even be options for wanting the spider dead or alive, as if you were hiring a bounty hunter. For example, if you want the spider dead, the Airtasker turns up to your house with a big shoe.

If you want the spider alive (because you’re some bleeding heart, tree hugging leftie), they turn up with a big glass.

In fact, we could harness arachnophobia to combat unemployment. This woman’s fear of spiders might well launch an entire industry of people who go out and capture the creep crawlies on behalf of others too afraid and too moral to kill them.

et’s not forget, Australia is full of spiders and people afraid of those spiders, so this lady might well start a movement and save the economy with this Facebook post.

We wish her all the best and hope that there is a brave teenager out there willing and able to help.