A new day has dawned and the smoothies are flowing. The Bachelorettes are hungry, but not for breakfast.
Enter Osher the Obliger, who’s only too happy to cook one up. A single date is on the card, and Alex its city-bound recipient.
Her excitement is enough to light up a CBD.
Alex and Richie’s charged greeting causes funny feelings in the onlooking Bachelorette slumber party. Bad funny. Not good funny.
Richie issues a pre-date spoiler warning: “I really wanted to spoil her.”
The racks of top Aussie designer Camilla are Alex’s to choose from, who’s clearly well-versed in dress twirling seduction, but mercifully unaware of improvisational tailoring techniques.
The group date card is called at the Bachelor mansion. “Nobody puts baby in the corner” teases the clue, inspiring fantasies of Dirty Dancing, not dirty diapers.
Then it’s Cosmos at the Continental for Richie and Alex, who continue to make sweet eye music. Out on the balcony sounds the more traditional variety, courtesy of crooner Allen Stone.
With only a champagne flute between them, it’s now or never. Or maybe just later. Will Richie pick up on Alex’s ‘kiss me now if you know what’s good for you’ vibes?
Carpe diem, Richie seizes the day, deftly removing the glass to allow Alex’s hands to tousle freely, and planting a kiss that buries the needle on the “goodness gracious” scale.
Day two and the Four Bachelorettes and a Baby date is literally in full swing, as Sasha scoops her animatronic offspring skyward in a fireman’s carry. “Girls, don’t scream!” she screams, pleading for a little maternal understanding.
Nikki undoubtedly makes the quickest adjustment to motherhood, even if she’s less adept at determining her baby’s gender.
With putt putt and a picnic among the day’s family activities, the Bachelorettes jump in their cars, belt in their bubs, and launch into Carpool Karaoke: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star Edition.
It’s looking like a two-parent race for some alone time with Richie, Nikki and Kiki wholly committing to the child-rearing cause. Noni’s chances are less certain; just as putting baby in the corner is discouraged, leaving one of your twins on the putting green is also a doozy.
As if from the lake, Osher emerges to confirm that Nikki’s baby did indeed score highest on the happiness metre.
A romantic evening at the Bachelor pad ensues, resulting in a question that ranks right up there with “Will you accept this rose?”: “Can I kiss you now?”
Opting to kiss and tell upon her return, the intense reaction leaves Nikki debating if honesty is indeed the best policy, and the other Bachelorettes more uncertain than ever heading into the Rose Ceremony.
And despite her gift to Richie of a blue velvet bloom, it’s Eliza who leaves empty-handed, but hopefully still with a song in her heart.
Coming up in episode 6… Let the games begin and the good times roll.
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