Thursday night saw Ashleigh finally get some alone time with Jimmy without interruptions following a group date that was all about compatibility. Deeming it the “ultimate validation” that, on paper, she and Jimmy were really compatible, Ashleigh started to feel like her luck in the mansion was turning around.
“We both wanted the same things, have the same interests, everything was there on paper,” she told 10 play, “I knew so much about Jimmy but Jimmy didn’t know much about me so he was finally getting a chance to see we really are compatible in a lot of areas.”
While Ashleigh said the conversation flowed and she was picking up all the social cues, there was one thing missing.
“Chemistry and compatibility are two very different things,” she said. “I still, to this day, think we were and are really compatible but the chemistry just wasn’t there. The chemistry was lacking and… you can’t force it. It’s either there or it’s not.”
Following their time together, Ashleigh didn’t receive a rose but didn’t think too much about it and, when Jimmy approached her to have a conversation at the cocktail party, she assumed he was taking the opportunity to give her one then.
“I went into that cocktail party feeling probably more confident than I had felt at any other cocktail party,” she said.
“I was blindsided when Jimmy sent me home. I wholeheartedly believed I would get a rose.”
As Jimmy approached, “no alarm bells were going” for Ashleigh but as they sat down, Jimmy explained that he didn’t feel the connection was there between the two of them, and he didn’t want to disrespect her by pretending otherwise.
“I’m so grateful to him that things played out the way they did,” Ashleigh said. “And I respect him so much for not putting me through a rose ceremony.
“To put me through another one and not to get [a rose] at the end, I feel like the way we left it was actually more organic and natural,” she continued. “We got to have a conversation, it was private, and it felt like something that you would experience in the real world. There was so much respect there, so I’m really grateful to him for that.”
But being shown the door during the cocktail party, Ashleigh also missed out on the opportunity to say goodbye to any of the bachelorettes in the mansion, or to hear those hallowed words.
“Osher didn’t tell me that I didn’t receive a rose! I feel like Osher owes me that,” she said, laughing.
“It was really hard because I didn’t get to say goodbye to any of the girls at all, I was just ripped from the mansion without any closure. That was a little bit difficult but, if I had to weigh out the pros and cons, I’d still prefer it the way that it was.”
Regardless of how her time in the mansion came to an end, Ashleigh said it was just another opportunity to learn more about herself.
“Introspection, self-development and developing awareness of myself and who I am is something I do every single day and, this process only furthered that. I did learn a lot about myself, but that’s a process I’m always engaging in, regardless of the environment I’m in,” she said.
“Learning to self-validate and to not put my perceived worth in the eyes of someone else is something that I’ve really struggled with for a long time,” Ashleigh continued.
“I’ve had a lot of rejection in my life and I really, really struggled with that so this only put further challenges on me to self-validate and not buy into those crappy core beliefs that I’m not enough… and remind myself that I am enough, and that the right person will see me. I just haven’t found that person yet.”
The Bachelor airs Wednesdays and Thursdays at 7.30 on 10 and 10 play