Don’t: Make a Deal with the Devil
It’s hotter than hell out there so it’s safe to assume there’s only one person capable of maintaining their usual levels of wit and cunning.
Do: Go With the (Ice) Flow
If your body heat needs droppin’, let Paul come a knockin’. What the ‘Erinsbrough Ice Man’ can do with H20 would make a snowman blush. Combined with the temperature of his soul, you’ll be Slurpee in his hands.
Do: Avoid Manual Labour
School suspension is not a holiday; some form of punishment should be involved. But digging gran’s garden in this heat? What is this – gran’s gulag?!
Do: Ditch the Robes
Surely the Mayor of Erinsborough can be excused from wearing reams of heavy fabric in high heat. It will only lead to a major MAYOR MELTDOWN. Tears are not a type of face mist – you don’t want to cool down this way.
Don’t: Lose Your Emotional Cool
Worse than tears, heightened emotional responses can lead to heart problems. Take deep breaths, send the wanton grandchild out to the gulag garden, and revisit the issue at a cooler time.
Do: Stand Half-Naked in Front of a Fan While Spraying Yourself with Water
Don’t: Parade Around in a Bikini
Well you can, but you might make some girls jealous.
Do: Sabotage the Air Conditioning of Your Competition
It’s a foolproof way to steer customers through the doors of your new business.
Don’t: Give Up Sport
Just play it in the pool, standing a very short distance from the other player.
Don’t: Exert Yourself
If you find yourself in a hot mess, stay calm and preferably very still. Under the shade of a tree if possible. Wait for help, or a soothing southerly. Whichever comes first.