Secretary of State Elizabeth McCord has gone from success to success, solving one international dispute after another. It’s only a matter of time until this diplomatic dynamo pushes for the top spot. When that time comes, she’ll want the best campaign manager available. Fortunately The Insider is happy to work with her, and has already drafted a five-point campaign strategy:
Strong Leader, Strong Voice, Strong Hair
Think of the great leaders of history: George Washington, Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth. All shared great vision, stunning oratory, and a magnificent mane on top. Elizabeth McCord displays all of these qualities with minimal use of hair products. She is tenacious and determined to do well by her country. She can bring a room to tears or laughter by her words alone. Her hair has natural shine and volume that turns heads (of states). Choose Elizabeth McCord – because you’re worth it.
Solves crises by day, tucks the kids in at night
A good President sees issues from all perspectives, all angles. A good president must be both an ordinary person and an extra-ordinary person. Elizabeth is a mother of three and an international playmaker, and she brings a universal eye to matters great and small. Whether you’re a butcher, a baker or a candlestick maker, McCord has got your back. Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, she’s still Bessie from the block.
Not your average politician
For too long politicians have had their arms twisted behind closed doors – by chiefs of staff, smooth operators, and other unsavoury types. But not anymore. Brave Bess is of a different breed, and will turn that arm twist into a reversal suplex. She’s a woman of integrity with a strong moral centre, and can’t be cajoled and coaxed into a corner. She follows her heart – even if it means going against the bureaucrats.
A proven track record
Experience speaks louder than words. As Secretary of State, Elizabeth has dealt with enough stress to turn a voluminous mound of blonde hair white. In the past year alone, Madam Secretary has saved American hostages in Syria, cosied up to India, rescued the American ambassador to Yemen from a bomb, and filled Presidential shoes while Airforce One was out of action. Not a bad resume.
You don’t go through a career with the CIA without obtaining a few useful contacts. Very powerful contacts. We’re not insinuating anything – you’re perfectly at liberty to vote for whomever you want. Please, vote for your chosen candidate, whether it’s Elizabeth McCord or not! Please do! We’re just saying that that’s a real nice house that you live in… it would be a terrible shame if something were to happen to it.
See Elizabeth McCord’s success story as it happens on Madam Secretary, 8.30 Wednesdays on TEN.