If Friends Was Set Today, And Down Under

Likely called ‘M8s’, it would take place in a city with lockout laws and cafes serving almond milk coffee on crates turned into furniture and would revolve around six besties who debrief every day over a craft beer.

Here are their character bios.

friends on 10 peach and 10 play 2019


She left her douchy ex at the altar and spent a year in London trying to ‘find herself’. When the shitty weather got too much (the cold was very drying) she moved into an old Surry Hills terrace with Monica - some chick she went to high school with.

Rachel is a sales assistant at Sportsgirl in Bondi Junction, with fashion-buyer-for-David-Jones ambitions. Her weekends consist of ‘gramming aesthetically-pleasing small breakfasts on large white plates and uploading clothing try-on hauls to her 18.3k social media followers.

friends on 10 peach and 10 play 2019


Chandler isn’t great at the advice, but he’ll give you a sarcastic comment. He’s your typical awkward funny bloke who does god-knows-what at some media agency during the day while performing stand-up comedy at open mic nights by night.

Chandler shares a small two-bedder with fellow bachelor Joey in a new apartment complex with dangerous structural damage and has a hard time with the ladies because up until he was 25, he thought the only response to “I love you” was “Oh, crap!”

He hates holidays because they remind him of his parents’ messy divorce, but fully supports his transgender father, Helena Handbasket, and attends her many drag shows.

friends on 10 peach and 10 play 2019


A self-diagnosed obsessive-compulsive, Monica is constantly stressing about the state of her share house. Like, she washes the toilet 17 times a day, even if people are on it.

Monica works long hours as head chef at a many-hatted restaurant and is a passionate advocate for self-love after years struggling with eating disorders and a mother who’s way too critical of her life choices.

When Monica isn’t furiously scrubbing her kitchen cupboards, or furiously taking down body-shamers on social media, she’s furiously checking her Ottolenghi Google alerts and planning menus for dinner parties in her spotless house.

friends on 10 peach and 10 play 2019


Known for dazzling the ladies with his infamous pick-up line – “Howzitgarn?” – Joey is an actor who, as a child, appeared in many iconic television ads, including that one for Lube Mobile (“that’s 13 30 32!”) and that other one for Cottee’s Cordial (his dad picked the fruit).

He recently landed a lead role in a drama but was replaced by Rodger Corser after speaking to female extras as though he’d never heard of #metoo. (He hadn’t).

When he isn’t thinking about sex, he’s thinking about food. And given the little money he earns working in the entertainment industry, he’s a passionate advocate of the $10 schnitty, a good Vietnamese pork roll, and a free meal at Monica’s.

friends on 10 peach and 10 play 2019


Hailing from Byron Bay, Pheebs is a climate change activist, a vegan, and the head of a cult-like essential oil pyramid scheme. She’s huge on YouTube, where her hit song ‘Ya Dirty Dog’ has gone viral and turned her into a worldwide internet sensation and a meme.

Phoebe’s a firm believer in world peace and bigger boobs. Very free love. She’s on all the dating apps and recently hooked up with a former ex-Bachelorette contestant who also happens to be a magician. She now has a bumper sticker that says “Magick Happens” and doesn’t know it’s a different kind of magic.

friends on 10 peach and 10 play 2019


Ross is the eldest of the bunch, and the Cultural Heritage Manager for a major mining company where he’s constantly torn between the needs of indigenous peoples and the needs of investors, shareholders and Satan. But he actually owns his own house, because ROSS CAN! And 'cause he gets paid a shitload.

Ross recently got back in the dating game after divorcing his uni girlfriend. He hasn’t had much luck, but don’t worry, HE’S FINE! Totally FINE!

Oh, and he'll lose his sh*t if you steal his vegemite sangas.

Anyways, most of this is a "Moo Point" and won't be happening on Friends, when it starts 7.00 Tonight on 10 Peach and 10 play